Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
