There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
