I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
