I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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