I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
