drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
