Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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