I'm so fucking centered right now
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
