Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
