She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
