FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
