i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
