you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
