from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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