Don't you send me to vm
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
