I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
