I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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