he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
