I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
