btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
