why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
