Kiss
Puke
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
