Buhtt sex?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
