he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
