oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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