By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
