i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
