Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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