no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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