as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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