im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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