420 ftw
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
