Sry I called you an 8
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
