you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
