There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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