so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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