I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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