she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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