My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
