That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
