I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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