I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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