I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
