We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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