I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
