My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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