He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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