I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
