He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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