That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
