just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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