is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
