Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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