You work out of a Hotel?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
